I want to "grow fonder" of my love handles.
I want to "grow fonder" of my love handles.
You know, we've all had that experience...
...An old friend comes into town for a visit and OVERSTAYS their welcome. Maybe you were the over-stayer, Me, You & Dupree-style. In the grand-scheme-of-things...no big deal, right?
What if that old friend is someone you once had an unhealthy and unwanted LOVE AFFAIR with? At best, things are a little awkward. At worst, things get VERY COMPLICATED.
Oh, and what if that terrible LOVE AFFAIR relationship isn't so much with a "someone" as it is with a part of yourself?
- An Old Habit. Like not binge-watching anything "EVER AGAIN!" (until this past weekend).
- Facial Hair Mistakes. Like my soul patch or seeing my grandfather's squirrelly eyebrows grow above my eyes (tweeze that horror show).
- LOVE HANDLES or L.H. for short. (Self Explanatory!)
Specifically about the latter, what is one to do??
Phase 1: Procrastination and Hint Floating Phase... "Well a guy should probably start getting in a little better shape", I say eventually and faintly. Almost instantly, I realize that the emotion-less, noncommittal, non personal wish is, as Brandie might say, "weak a$$!" You guessed it, Ol' Reliable L.H doesn't take the hint.
Phase 2: Accept the Early Defeat Phase. "Maybe I can learn to live with this, after all, acceptance is key.... The newly acquired AZ and Cali sun tan seems to hide it pretty well.... Bigger cannon-ball splashes in the pool will better entertain the kids." I think, "L.H. actually has some benefits depending on how I contort and warp my perceived reality to help me feel better about myself not doing the work." L.H. starts to feel like a welcomed and permanent quest.
Phase 3: Time To Get Serious, Public Accountability and Lay Down the Ground Rules Phase. This is where I emotionally confront L.H. and say, "Pack Your Bags." The public eviction notice is posted for all to see (this blog post). And commit to THE PLAN to send L.H. packing once and for all!
Brief outline:
- Turn the "I should's" into "I musts".
- Move Daily
- Nutrition Timing - Establish an Eating window.
- Nutrition Quality - Eat vegetables and meat, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and no sugar. Keep intake to levels that will support exercise but not body fat.
- Nutrition Quantity - Will take care of itself if 1 thru 4 are followed.
In upcoming days, I will expand (synonym: bloat) further on this mission to expel L.H., you Over-Staying Son-of-a-Binge;)
As the saying goes, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." And if that is true, I can't wait to GROW FONDER of my love handles.
